So he leans on the bar…
… and tells me that he understood all the parts that I had written about him in White trash and that it was ok. Its 6 in the morning and I am so tired and he is telling me this?
I mean,What the fuck? That its “OK”????
Fucking deluded. The ones that I write about don’t even read this shit. In fact, I tend to think that the ones that fill my fucking nightmare ridden head don’t even know I am alive let alone log onto the mobile ego wank festivity that is white trash.
It’s these moments when I look at the people that I know and think, “Who the fuck are you and how the hell did I get here?”
The weatherman is telling me that its gonna be a cosy 41 degrees on new years day and I think about all the new years eves that I have worked only to take your money. Coming home so tired and sober only top have all my drunk ahem friends tell mw what a boring fuck up I am.
Monkey tells me when she is pissed at me for whatever reason that “You are not punk! You are not rock and roll!!!” I can smile as I type that tonite feeling the ghost laminate around my neck, seeing myself on the side of the stage for Iggy.Swooning at Rollins, touring the world with my band
Tell me again?
Exactly.
Outsiders have got a pretty deluded version of what “rock n Roll” is.Od or blow my head off with a shotgun.Whatever,fuck off.
Have not really had my shit in shape since Xmas. Am working on completing my PhD in “Fucktardology” [“That’s Dr Madden to you!”] and reason dictates that I shall be the homecoming queen.
I gotta a friend who is in love with love. Love doesn’t call her back. I want to help but I died years ago.
There are too many stupid people out there tonite want to get an air rifle. It would be soooo good. That’s a lie I want a .22 and a flamethrower. Hell, the way I am feeling I’d settle for a spud gun and an ice pick.
NYE has got too much expectation attached to it. I am sinuous I will creep.
I question loyalty. He is only out for himself. I wish that I could be that rude as well. He knows what went down and still crosses enemy lines for personal gain. What balls! What a total cunt.
So we are now a poster. Hold me down. Teen dreams dolls. Its sweet as FUCK! Y’all know I am the doom fan boy I love this shit! Fuck you if you think that you are too cool.
All is well at the HQ.Still blessed with the grace and fine company of Diamond Lil and the Pornstar.When it comes to living in Sydney there is not a lot more that I could ask for. Back to the Gym on Monday .
20 days starving for clarity and practicing my drumming. I think that I can do this. We have 3 days lock out a week to jam someone will say that its not enough. Some people don’t know how to be gracious when it comes to the all to rare gift horses.
I swear I am going to quit lollypops in 06′
06′?????
How the fuck did that happen??? I am not going to do that year in review shit cause if you were a clever little squirrel you would have been reading this crap all along.
I spoke to Ash for the first time. My relationship with that man is some weird fuckin ju ju. He sounded a bit ill, but all in all quite positive about the spate of adventure that had befallen him and the Deluxe.
Tells me that he has heaps of new ideas and riffs for me. I tell him that I need the heaviest shit that he can give me.
War all the fuckin time.
I like all the places that we went with the last recording but now I want to cement my place as the heir apparent you dig? Strange, for all the ways that I am in a really good place the bitterness is still tearing me apart. Fucking traitors, whores, motherfuckers and lying cunts. I can temper this I tell myself but for how long?
Hate mail.
Hate mail
Jesus! Do you really think that you are doing a slap up job? Don’t write it kids come to a show and tell me all about it and lets see who makes it out alive.
You will never hate me more than I hate myself. It is a battle that you have lost before it has even begun.
Fuck you you visionless blagging cunts. Go and buy another band tee shirt from Supre.
Choke on my shit.
Angry? Moi?
SF4L
Michele.
