A ruddy drop of manly blood
The surging sea outweighs;
The uncertain comes and goes,
The rooted lover stays.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I’ve immersed my body in the river of vengeance
And thrown away my womanhood many moons ago.
-Meiko Kaji.
I don’t know how we were ment to play a gig that we were never booked for when half my band is in LA but I will keep you posted.
Its late here and I am sleeping at all the wrong times. I woke up full of 31 flavours of “Hell yeah” thinking that it was 9 in the morning. It wasn’t. It was 4 in the fucking afternoon and I sat on my space all day grumpy as hell. Oh root canal that I could not afford! Merry fucking XMAS TO YOU!
Miss Lily was doing midnight feng shui before. Sounded like 2 elephants buttrooting on a half pipe. I adore her. That is why I am eating all of her sultanas while she is asleep.
I had a dream that I kidnapped Rollins at BDO and kept him in a sexy glass jar. I hope that I can screw up the courage to say something that doesn’t come out like
“OH MY fuckin gawd! #$!! I LURVEEEEE you man gibber gibber gibber .”
That’s what I think I am up against. I know I am. I am going to be pretty shameless when it comes to getting him to sign my 90′ tour tee shirt though. You only live once.
Been getting some interesting mail of late regarding which way I swing. Well, with the right person I swing like a gate thank you very much. I think that if you’re happy it doesn’t matter if it’s a guy or a girl, I mean, do you really care?
Don’t limit and don’t label. Like Woody Allen once commented on bisexuality “You would never be lonely on a Saturday night”
I am flattered on all counts so if you have written and shared your feelings I applaud your courage and thank you from the bottom of my black heart.
Ross and Ash are home soon. I don’t want to know about anything until after Xmas thanks very much. I am sure that they are feeling the same. The jet lag is always brutal. From what I can gather it all sounds rather positive.
You know, I am not writing anything that I had in mind when I was groping my way up the pitch black stair well. Don’t know if I should beat on with it or just give up for now. Rob tells me that it could be LA in the spring. I have so many weird feelings tied up there still but they are being gracious and fading over time. The junk collectors are making an unholy racket outside my window. It sounded like the ghost of Xmas past, rattling chains and all. Voice of the beehive lulling me with their perfect harmonies on my clean sheets with my dirty mind ticking over. AC/DC came on the radio while I was feeding the fish tonite who then got treated to me dancing on the new found rug that had a dead pigeon in it when it was dragged off the street.
Fish do no appreciate me playing the air bagpipes. Fucking philistines.
This is my existence right now.
I still don’t know how to work this fucking thing. I don’t even know how to send all this shit through to Ross. I hate asking him anything. Compacts my stupidity. Mikey and I have still failed to hook up while the other 2 have been away. It happens. What can you do?
I was kinda shocked that Ross leaked that Picture of me with the red hair. I thought that we were saving it for the single cover. And people have been writing me about it. The whole image thing.
The truth is that it’s the only time that I can really fuck with people who think that they have got me all worked out. I look like an ass sandwich in real life so why not? I thought that was the point of film and photos. I look at all the shoots that we have done and the Clips that range from Festival live to Fightclub.
Anyone who has been through the galleries on the sikfuk sight know that I have been doing this crap all along
You have to push yourself. I second-guess myself a lot when I am fucking with the visuals. Still wish that I were genderless most days. Not many people knew I had a rack that casts a shadow until we did this last clip and shoot. I prefer not to think about it *Shudder*
Had a quick flick through the Blunt yearbook at the newsagents yesterday. The fat woman with the hairy mole on her chin was watching me so I couldn’t nick it. Don’t think that we rated a mention. I guess Recording with SYL, making a new album in Canada, touring North America on our own dime and Getting The BDO for the 2nd time doesn’t really rate or count for much.
Not on the rag just fed up tonite. Jay Blurter, Emosexual and good mate gave me a killer Social Distortion Bootleg for the stupid season or just to get rid of me who can say. We terrorized The Marrickville metro. Miss Terror also got a video of me beating up Santa.
Significant other found me the perfect red flanno, as he knows that the Bogan vein runs deep and true within me. I am gonna get Big gay Dave to customize my kilt and wife beater for the BDO.Feirce is the angle children. He is a wizard with my rather spiffy visions so I am going to look like an unhinged nutbag. Stellar.
Miss Cathy Pirate queen has pitched the idea of Me as Eve in the garden for a shoot in the New Year .We are just looking for a bloody big snake. Fuck eve. I am lillith.dark and zero bullshit. Eve was a push over . How ever it is going to look spanky as hell.
I must get back to the gym. That toothache laid me low for a week and pissed me right off. I have a month and a bit to find my bones and a million reasons to go faster and turn my blood round in my veins and for all the hours that I do nothing I am never going to have enough time. Guess that the 3 and me will fall back in sonic love. As long as it’s loud I still matter. I can’t listen to the White Stripes right now. I was happy there and now I am not sad? No, less than happy though.
[Phone calls and the voice on the end of the line is crying and blaming me so I just hang up and try to hang on]
1-
Eye contact is over rated. Besides looking down I found 10 bucks.
2-
She is your best friend. I gave you the leeway that you needed to replace me and you did. I left the space you once occupied empty so really it is not so different from when you were here.
3-
I want to fuck you until I explode. Finally. It was nothing till now. Animal genital mashing. You are heaven with a cock.
4-
I don’t look like the me that I think that I should look like.
5-
I am standing by self-mutilation. I am waving the flag. He draws me with his eyes closed and it all makes it something that I never expected and I am bleeding on your carpet and falling at your feet. How hot do I look with my pearl handled straight razor? step up sailor. Uh.huh.
6-
Miss Billie Lime I am loving our shared memory time tonite because PJ is singing to me 3; 14 in the morning and I can feel your brunette arms around me.2 summers since I held you friend.
7-
My number. You all tell me that you grew up like you are trying to shame my convictions, my life. Breed and dive. Smaller and I speed. I have got a decade on some of you and you have already bowed out. I am giving thanks for my narrow mind tonite and I am gifted ink 7s and I roll on.
I want to be alone now so I am going to go. Melancholy is here with memories that are sharp and I welcome the punishment that I don’t have to control, not tonite, tonite I give it over and go under. My dead are waiting with news on the other side. There is cake and I have missed them. Nick Cave will be sitting at the piano. He will play all my requests as I catch up with my lost but never forgotten.
Numbers
And starvation
Parchment
And self and I will see you there, I see everything baby
SF4L
Michele
