Cadaver.

Sighing lustily as I waltz into the house ,one manicured finger silencing my bellowing i-pod.Miss Lilli looks up and smirks knowing that I was about to open conversation with a clanger as is my habit and inclination. Her eyes bugged out on stems at the lurid green,black and yellow ocular apocalypse hanging from my arm.My new handbag is what happens when Kimora Lee Simmons watches “Shaft” hopped up on PCP. Blinding and disturbing,granted, but with a great falsetto.I drop it dramatically at my feet and say….

“I so would have dated Joey Ramone.”

“Yeah,then you both could have checked if the door was locked ten times.”

She has a point.

I once left her a note telling her  exactly how many steps it was from the door of my shed to the train station.True story.

We agree the the “I want you around” scene in “Rock and roll high school”  is hands down one of the sexiest knicker moistening things ever committed to celluloid.I flopped on her unmade bed and commenced molesting Peanut,her teddy-bear.

“Or Lester….”

“Anyone alive?” said the redhead

“Not that I will admit to.” answered the brunette.

So all the dudes I want to write love letters to are dead.The ones that make my compromised heart hum are deceased. What does that tell me? That I am heading for a lusty future in necrophilia,the Karen Greenlee of rock and roll ? The fat guy next to me on the peak hour train today accidentally brushed against me  while my eyes were shut .I sprang up like I had been scalded and slapped his arm.I don’t know who was more shocked,me or him. So yes,I am still having a slight problem with any kind of human contact.

Which means that dead guys could really be the way to go.Bear with me…They can’t touch me,reject me,play mind games.They don’t hog all the covers and I don’t have to tell them what I am doing and why.No more sacrificing my career and sanity,I don’t have to dumb down and get yelled at for using five dollar words…..This could really work out for me…..That’s it! I’m calling it. Dead is the new black.

(“No capes!”)

Having a fantastic week of doing fuck all besides what ever pleases me.This has been a long ass time coming..

Went and got my hair done today so now I am poncing around like a herbal essence add winking at myself in all reflective surfaces.Pondering what to wear to El Mariachi Bronx (“Are you a Mexi-can or are you a Mexi-cant?”) at the Metro tomorrow evening,I have to send a search party into my wardrobe and hope that they unearth sartorial elegance.

( Lilli! Have you seen my tail?” “Check your ass” “Very funny!” “I thought so.” ” I bet you did,I want to wear it to the show”….)

Pedicure tomorrow and working on new songs.I got my first Thai massage of the year from a very skilled lady by the name of Nicky who I estimate comes in at about 110 lbs soaking wet and has a grip that could shatter a beer stein.Heaven. Big photo-shoot on Friday with Miss Ash,gig Saturday.I am on fire! I am doing stuff,getting on with my existence and it feels hunky dory.I will wait here while you put on some Bowie….

While trawling for lyrics today I had to go though a journal from a while back in my not so distant past.I put it down.I had too,I was going to be sick.I cried for the woman I was then, waging a war that she couldn’t win against an enemy that was insane.A little hindsight and knowledge are are a great thing.So,for that matter, is a lot of therapy,a gym membership and the 12″ hunting knife that I still sleep with.

Don’t look back unless that is where you are planning on going.If I was?  I would be armed to the teeth.

Bet on it.

Dear friends writing me with all the news that is not fit to print.It’s just so sad but my spidey senses are always right.Not that it wins me anything. Like the truth is not going to find its way panting to my high heel clad feet? Like people are not going to inadvertently give me the 411 on the lost and dammed? Gimme a fuckin’ break….

I lie in bed smothering  an attack of the giggles thinking about what would have happened if I had of taken up the invitation that was extended to me on the wings of so-called forever love and gone “Home” for Xmas. The look on his hookers face as she opened to door….classic.

Dead guys it is then. At least they do not come fully equipped with junkie succubus’s.

I’m going to go and wrestle my wardrobe. Tonight I get to traipse though the biblical rain and hear “Fallen” live.

Sigh.Life is sweet.