I will be small in small things, great among great.

-Pindar.5th c BC.

Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure / Men love in haste, but they detest at leisure.
-Byron. Don Juan.

Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy.
-F.Scott Fitzgerald.

I saw the crescent; you saw the whole of the moon.
-The Waterboys

It matters not what you are thought to be, but what you are.
-Publilius syrus 1st c BC.

I used to believe / in secret signs / hateful things / Stomach hitching lies / that attract all the wrong flies / visual honey /gone rancid / nothing left to believe in / if your not angry by now / you fuckin should be…

I spend so long by myself
That you are here
When you are not
And I put all the words into your mouth
Your candy lips
Gracious
I imagine
Pulling a gun on a busy street
A murderers carte blanche
I pump shot after shot
Into surprised faces
And I think
They [you] are so hateful
That their [your]
Parents wouldn’t even be surprised that it ended like this.

I feel like we have been gone forever. I guess its because so much has happened in such a short amount of time and the fact that we have done this kind of caper before. You tend to fall in pretty quick.
[” I don’t want to hang out with the same 3 fucking people for the rest of my life, no offence…” Rossco] nor do I my little 5 stringed killing machine and I am sure that we all feel the same.

I don’t even think that it’s been a month yet. Feels like it though. Got long limbs missing me. I don’t think that I have ever been missed like this before. I have never missed anyone like this. Just my old crushes that never even knew that I was alive so it’s all new.

He tells me that his fat stupid ex has been sniffing around since I left the country [“Fat and stupid” are my opinion as he is far too much of a gentleman to say such things, although he did mention “Saggy assed” on a Jager binge one night and as we all know kids the devil is in the details and that with wine comes truth…]

Anyway, You can imagine where that sent my addled brain for at least 5 very ugly minutes am over it now. Face like a dropped pie and from what I can work out the personality of a busted thong. Whoops!
Did I say that out loud??
Look; I am pretty cool with a heap of my ex’s ex’s so to speak but this one? I don’t like her style and that’s that. At least she knows what she has lost.

“Ballroom Blitz” just came on! Scuse me while I jump round like a headcase, back in a sec!

I fuckin’ needed that!

We have got the “From the ground up” festival next week. Obituary and Morbid Angel. I know! Life is so bloody tough!

Now I sound like a little boy whose voice is breaking.Great.That will be me back to it then.

The guys are down the end of the hall watching James Bond in German. I was down there doing really rank sexist translations but it got old pretty quick.

I sang so hard that I popped a bubble in my eye! Argh! “Diatribe” Grooves so fuckin hard! I can’t wait for y’all to hear this stuff! The room that we jam in is so small so after 2 songs it’s all smelling pretty meaty in there. I guess it’s about 12 foot by 12.tight. I can’t remember where my voice is ment to be on “Se7en” though. I will find it.

I think that I am gonna call my auto biography “Shitty PA” Gotta enough years under my belt now to know that if the speakers are up on those supermarket sweep style poles that I am gonna sound like Joe Cocker by the end of the ordeal.

Worth it though.

I have gotta send all these postcards and shit today.

Got a cool email from Dion Driver.Dion is the drummer from Fort. Really cool to hear from him. Made me remember that I do have some mates back home who are worth flying the flag for.

One of who is my most beloved big brother who is finally touring America again in about 2 weeks. Monkey emailed me to tell me that she is off to Brazil while he kills it on the road.Cool.She also wanted to say sorry for not returning my Black Flag shirt.
Ah family.
Ya gotta love it.

I gotta tell you more about “Checkpoint Charlie” That’s what I am calling our compound. So it used to be this huge office block. We are up on the 8th floor and are the only people in here. I shouldn’t tell you this but Ross won’t go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
It really is that freaky. Imagine living in a deserted mall. I keep expecting the elevator doors to open with a deluge of blood and twin girls’ ala “The shining”. Ross made axe murder noises at me when I was in the crapper last nite.

So I switched off the light when he was in the shower.

I wish that I had a CD player in the bathroom. The echo is fuckin dreamy. They knocked a toilet out of one of the stalls to put a shower. There are 2 urinals with little soccer nets with red balls suspended in then to give the lads something to aim at.

If you want hot water you have to turn the faucet all the way into the cold and pray. Our landlord and his uber babe girl friend just walked in. They are both so stunning I think that I will go and hide in my room so that they don’t ask me out. There is a lightweight bar hop to take place tonite but I think that I will mess around in the shower [oh er Missus!] and sing Toto and Foreigner songs. Not as if the fuckin neighbours are gonna complain now is it?

Being that significant other lent me his digital camera and Ross is learned of the ways of photographic upload I will endeavour to get some pix of this place cause you are never gonna believe me without seeing it.

Sunday tomorrow. I just washed all my filthy shit. Having a place to lay your head should never be taken for granted. And I don’t. I should call it a night but I can’t seem to switch off. I could walk up to the Reperbahn and watch the scum and hooker parade but that would involve more effort than sitting here trying to get my shit together to have a shower.

Masterdon are playing here tomorrow night. I am broke worst luck. I might try and see if I can blag a ticket.heh.You never know your luck right?

Nite’
SF4L
Michele.