Little things I should have said and done,
I never took the time….
-Willie Nelson.
In my life I loved you more.
-J.Lennon.
I really wanted to come down and write last nite but all the powers that be were not in my favor [people sleeping on floor ect, so Here I sit on the brown couch once again attempting to push myself into some kind of existence.I slept all day due to the fact that I sat up twisting on some self made sharp point all night.
Joy.
Ash dont really talk to me anymore.Scrub that.he just dont talk.Guess that we will chat on the road at some point.I think that we start rehearsing again this week.Ross sounds happy living with meegs and such and where ever number one son is I hope that its good.
Still watching my life slide by.My room looks like a bomb went off in a clothing bin.I have to nick some boxes from somewhere and get in packed.
Think that I have spent most of my life packing. Dino wrote me from LA.Asking where my sister was.Who knows?Its been a little over a year since we have talked and knowing my track record we will never speak again.I ended up liking her punk roommate at the end of the shitstorm more than I liked her.
Still broke as all fuck.I will pay em all back some day.
Biancia yelled at me for not calling her for my heavily discounted rock n Roll dental work and lo and behold I still have not got round to it…I am an asshole.
drenched in melancholy.
poo.
This whole tour seems unreal to me.denial? Meh….who can say.
I feel people distance themselves from me more and more as better things befall us.Who knew?All I ever had to do to get people the fuck up out of my grill was be successful.
I know that there would not really be any love here for us in the end bar the faithful.And that is ok cause I gave up on trying to impress people who dont impress me a real long time ago.Pre high school even.So off to where the sun is shiny and the label support foxy and enduring.
I get to watch Moterhead all summer from the side of the stage.
Gonna be interesting to see how the Rose tattoo show goes.I love Mick Cox with all my black heart so its gonna be cool to see him there.He pushed really hard for us in europe and I will never be able to repay him.We played a show that Angry walked out on once so I dunno what he is gonna make of all this.
Feeling like a bloated paint by numbers picture at the moment.Logging in round 8 hours ink a week.saint Tina is getting Nervy about the end result but once my arms are done all I have left is my J.cash tattoo and I am home and hosed.
Dont wanna look like all those grumpy rock chix in their overpriced faster pussy cat sweaters and polka dotted finery….heh…fat chance!
(“gee! i am gonna get an old school chest peice!That will REALLY set me apart from the pack…….”)
I try [minimum effort] Not to hate as much as I do but the older I get and the less the shit dont go away the more correct I find myself.Sue me.
As I am want to do when I cant sleep and that is all too often ,I go back and wander round my past.Indulgent to the first and last.
I hate most of the fools that I encounter there.But there bare a few that I miss….
You will never get this letter.I have no idea where you are now but I assume that you are still out there. We used to talk every day.I was young and I didnt know what to do with the way that you loved me but besides that we were friends.I would play your mixed tapes till they broke ..You took me to kosta who ended up Tattooing me for real,for commitment and when that asshole drummer of mine did a runner you picked up my pieces with letters,hardcore porn and miles of metal magazines.
As I was racing round with the Hard Ons ant the big day out in 03′ I saw you for a second but is was not our time to make good I guess.You always saw me up there and I am grateful for that.You inspired me to write the 1st song that I did with this band.I wonder if you have followed my life from afar and that if you have that you realize how much you had to do with getting me here.
Wacken and Europe dude!I dont have a number or an email for you.So many things have happened and you were the one i wanted to call.
I hear from time to time that you are well and still quite and living it.Fitzroy is so far away now.I never thought that we would get this far away from it all.
Look,I couldnt sleep and you were on my mind.Maybe we will never meet again but through my misspent youth you shone the brightest and took care of me.Thanks.I mean it……..
Its raining again.Ross Tells me that 10kgs of luggage is about the dizzy limit.I am just gonna get on the bird in what I am wearing.Fuck it.Back to Australia round the beginning of November but you never can tell…
Just thinkin out loud.
SF4L
Michele