Canada [ Roaddog ]

But its time to face the truth,I will never be with you.
-James Blunt.

I dont need heavy trips ,I just do what I wanna do.
-Iggy Pop.

Let him that would move the world first move himself.
-Socrates

Just a fast one.I cant find the spellcheck and its sent me into a bad mood.Cunt of a thing.
Letting go of what gave me a heart is horrible.No pictures up on the walls for me no more. Its all going away….but making room for what I wonder?

Thers always gonna be another tour.Another long road that I think that I am duty bound to be at the head of.I have sung to break point.Have you evah? Its strange when you can’t summon the one parlor trick that ever made you even remotely interesting to anyone in the 1st place.There is a rasp and hook in my voice that you could catch a nice sized brim on.Its making me throw alot of shapes vocally in my ewock tent in the studio that I have not had the guts to expose since I was a kid…Mama! I is singing!
Ewock tent…

I put myself at the mercy of people who understand the dynamic of sound. Chicken is one of these people. Now, You get to a studio and its usually a huge bloody room,Carpet scared with the masking tape markings of a million prior sessions ( “I said move the bass drum an inch you fucking ‘tard! An inch!! Same lenghth as your dick? …” “Fuck you princess! I did what you said YOU move it!! “. ect ect)

But being that its just me and my big voice we spent the 1st day building a tent and lining it with blankets and so on.Its quite nice really. I turn off the overhead lights ,Pile up all my papers on a thoughtfully provided music stand ,wait for my cue and proceed to have a nervous breakdown.

Gene called from the road last night and said that he is proud of me that everything that I am laying down is killer. Poor Chicken! He has to polish the turd that I am daily. He is so good at it too. He makes me feel really good about this.He is as mentally unstable and moody as I am so in a way we cancel each other out which leads to good tunes, good times and a weekly event called “Bikini friday.”

I got to do “Greenlee” Yesterday and that made me miss Skoota even more.If you are into it go and google Karen Greenlee. I think that everyone should have a corpse fucker of choice and she is mine.

I am trying to tear through this before Chicken gets here to start the day. We are going from midday till god knows at stupid o clock in the morning and as I washed the dishes last night ( “I am not gonna cook and clean” said Chicken “Why ever not!” exclamed Miss Fat Ass mc Indignation from the sofa ) I saw the big fat make- me- wanna- murder moon hanging over the dockyards of North Vancouver and shuddered. I am not in the mood….

Had the studio to myself last nite which led to hairwashing and bad Macy Grey inpersonations in the shower till the hot water ran out and I had to chuck my clothes in the dryer. Its a really cool area.I can see the welders sparking up overtime on the dry dock late into the night from the window where I hang with the cats. I have not been out all that much though.Have not been running or seeing any of my friends because all I can think of is getting this right. I just had to take a deep breath there,My shoulders were coiled up around my ears.Stress. Its self inflicted and never gets any easier for me….

Saint Tina tells me to get thy ass back to The shack pronto.I can see where that is comming from and while being dunked under the waves of “What the FUCK an I trying to do here???” That tend to break apon my fragile shore at disapointingly regular intervals at present, its all I want to do… but like Francis wrote to me last night,”You have fought your whole life for this.I know that you wont back down”

And he is right.He has made a habit of being so since I was a kid. I just need to make it out in somthing that resembles one peice.

Monkey writes and tells me that Mondo Generator are heading to Australia and that The Hard- ons may be doing the support. I think that I may be back some time in August? On the road with Zimmers Hole. But fuck,I have alredy changed my fuckin ticket a billion times.

I have to stay a while in Long Beach with my redneck brother in crime Leizel.In my absence she has been lining up the most awsome shoots and props. (” Your severed head arrived today Bobbi jo!”) Bobbi jo is my trash name.(It had to be somthing with a hyphen in it.) So thats what I am gonna be up to.I think that I get to see Gene for 5 seconds before he and Laura end up in the studio doing their thing on the album.

Coolest thing for me is the people that are putting their hands up to play on it and some of my rock gods that I have aproached that have told me, quote ( said one ) “It would be an honor to play on anything you asked me too.”
Not gonna tell you who yet.But its blown me out of the water. Just hope that Michelle can see and feel it where ever she is now.

So I am sleeping on another floor.I think that its doing my back some good to tell you the truth. Canada does not believe in the kind of summer that gets me all squirming in my pants but compared to winter anywhere I will take what I can get.

Time to circle the wagons.

M
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