Maybe in another life
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I cant deal, its so unfair…..
-Offspring.
Hi! Welcome to Weiner burger! Could I take your order?
-The Decendents
Its never over,My kingdom for a kiss apon her shoulder…
-Jeff Buckley
Been a while!
Sorry about that!
There should be another one from round the 20th up as well…Thanx to rossco delux…..
Fuck! Its like 1 in the morning! I got in here at 11! Not complaining though.I got to answer heaps of cool mail.Skot wrote me that he thought that my life would now be “Heartbreak and long highways” Well,sure.Me and Bob Seeger both but I am never not gonna get back to you guys even when it does take a while.Delux is currently being haunted by a Silver bullet band song.[ Who is gonna ride that chrome 3 wheeler Ross???] No shit.Tom Petty is hot on my Converse…means my sister is thinking about me.Always has.
This place is so over heated I feel ripped.I hope you motherfuckers are enjoying the summer. I wear so many layers I think that I am going mouldy! Depression makes for great art.Van Gough said somthing along those lines and he ended up with syliphis and cutting his ear off for a hooker.
shit.
Anyway…….
Memories.
Feeling displaced at Havlock house.Redwine teenaged tired.Stoned again,rushing the void.Itchy with agression,damning it for the hippies.Entertained in a tiny city,knowing that I would be away.That none would be stupid or tireless enough to follow me……
My ghosts a tapdancing a fucking Busby Berkley number tonite.
I remember after you left I wanted as much pain as possible.As much as I could find.I courted it as fervently as I had once courted you. It heeded my call and found me lacking.Pain provided in the space that you had left behind.
I tried so hard to remember the last time that I saw you.I remembered the last time that we tried to reconsile instead.I relive it under low wattage light on a doom loop and wish that my greif would kill me.We were interupted by one of my brothers a nano second before we were eternal.Did he know? Was he protecting my basement dwelling vagabond rock and roll future? We tore like paper never to be the same again.
I dont have any answers but tonite honey? I got a PHD in Meloncholy.
Damage.
I can never get clean.My body is always toxic and never reticent in showing me so.Forever noxious and secreating mad poison through its pores.
I was ment to be out tonite but my date [ahem!] got kidnapped and I was not up for babysitting a Plague of sikfuks.[Dig that! “Plague”] I will catch em’ hangovers and all tommrow.I think that some of y’all back home are chatting to them now.They are solid.
I was asked about what being a “Sikfuk” entailed the other day.Goddamed if I know! I just know that it is us and and it the last thing I have got that no motherfucker can take away from me.We never needed to name it.We always were what we are.I speak for myself when I say that I am glad that there were more out there.This civillian wanted to know if it was a club.Wish that I had of had a club at that point.
Just like home! I now sleep with a baseball bat!
Pretty fuckin sad Saturday night but to tell you the truth I could not give less of a shit.In Chinatown [Read:one street of asian shops in downtown Calgary] at one of those 24 hour net gamer cafes.[ Picture; Tweeking dudes with even less of a life than your wayward scribe here.] Ross is out raizing hell,Mikey arrived home with a box of cookies and all my crew are out getting drunk.Ash has got cabin fever and is under lockdown tonite making sense of all the riffs that he wrote but cant remember.I keep waking up with a sore voice and packing shit.
Ner.As My Miss Karen would say….
I am now listening to GnR after writing back to all you guys.Duff McCagans finest moment [ According to my sister ,myself and several drunk Hell City Glamours one nite…. ] was in “Civil War” .To whit….. “Peace will last forever” Me and the B* have spoken about this stellar moment in rock often.Speaking of the B* she is now back in England eating shitty take out smoking crap pot and watching Richard and Judy.She says that its not too cold and that she will be heading back this way soon.Mexico is looking better and better for Xmas thats for sure.I just wanna be where she is.Oh,and getting Tattoos.
No longer do we live in 38ft of tin can hell! The bus is dead long live the bus!
Fable goes that Ash was out the back of Skinnys having a joint last time we played there where he spotted a pair of legs flailing out of the top of a dumpster.Enter Sue.World traveler, stoner ,muso and dumpster diver.Her and Ash get on like a house on fire and now we live in one of her abodes.No shit,she has these 3 totally cool junked out pads in a row.We are 2 stumbling blocks from the studio.
Only this fuckin band! I swear.We have a living room fulla lawn furniture.Heaven.
I started throwing all my shit down this shady stairwell as soon as we got into the house.There was no way that the basement was not gonna be mine.No way.I cant even stand up down there and I dont give a shit.Kill the lights and you cant even see your hand in front of your face.I scored a matress off the junkie who did a runner on the place the week before [Read;he came around for it and I didnt give it back] so,off to the dollar shop with Miss Suzanne patron saint of flame… and 15 bucks later we have candles,tiger print walls and more incense than a San Francisco flop house in ’68.It smells like a hippy exploded down there.I wanna black light! Lotta Sabbath goin’ down..There are ciggerette burns all over everthing and I am feeling dangerous and listening to the New York Dolls a real lot.Fluro lights that flicker when ever Mikey walks across his Lime green room upstairs,Office style roof tiles and a dodgy Metallica mural in the boiler room.
I can imagine Blackie blanching at the sight of it [“Its gotta be asbestos Sis!!!”]
Ross wont even come down there.He just yells at me from the kitchen
Oh Fuck!!!
And a bathroom!!!! I decided to spend the whole nite in there when we moved in.Happily picking my dreads and a bath…ohhhh!!!!!…..my 1st bath [Not litrally mind!] Since The Ranch!!! Ross put a spell on me round 4am cause I did a M.Jackson and set my hair on fire but enough about that.In the spirit of hot water and shaving cream I attacked my legs for the 1st time in fuck knows how long.I mean there are only so many times you can do a shampoo mohalk and beat off before the water goes cold.
4 razors later and it looked like I had skinned a boar in the bath.
fun fun fun.
I let Miss Annie feel my pins up at the cafe today .
Being in a house is magic.I really dig band houses.All my best memories are tied in with them.[ The guitar god who never knew I was alive/bad speed/ black flag/ goon wine ] Growing up they were the hip hot spots to aim for.Ahhhh! Memories!Like a lazy sidestroke through a pool full of bong water.Picture me standing ouside in the snow,my nose pressed against the glass…hehehe….NOT ANY MORE!
So…on to the studio,We are now all set up in the main room that I call “The Church.”It really is.Sound proofed and blissful.I spend alot of time in there with the lights out and my guitar just singing for the love of it.Just to get to that place,ya know?.Mike and Ross are, in a word,Formidable.Its the dream you know? No rent,No job [No fuckin money!] But all you do is what you love.All you have to think about is the music.I cant belive that we got here.I am awe stuck alot more than I let on.Ash is driving himself hard as he can and I stay out of his evil Scorpio way and fancy myself in a movie staring ME! Fuck man! If you sikfuks could see this room! It really is the rock and roll wet dream 101.I sing “Gimme Shelter” at least once a day.
There are persian rugs all over the blonde wood floor and I sing perched on top of a Mesa bass cab.Tied a scarf around my mike today WITH ZERO IRONY! I mean,like I could give less of a shit about what is cool and what is not.I am all of The Rolling Stones and Aerosmith in one tonite.The alchemy is great.I feel like I could walk with fucking kings right now……
Some of the tracks still dont have names.See,what happens is that Ash calls them one thing and I have called them another and then we go to play them and I end up throwing pleading looks at Delux who tells me the 1st line as Mikey is counting it in.Although of late he just says “Its the depressing/slow/fast/unrequited one that you wrote about……” While the rest of the band snigger and roll their eyes ,then I go a funny shade of purple cause he is right.I have written a whole album [Well at least 6 whopper trax] about a crush.Oh ,and being a junkie [ago…] and other assorted sordid things.Shame Big Black took one of the best album titles ever. “Songs about fucking”. SORDID!!!!!!WOOOOOO!!!!!
‘Bout time is ya fuckin ask me!
[I doubt that I could ever explain it well enough for you to understand and not think that I am mental….but you have kept Me company throughout this album.I carry you into the studio everyday.I carry you and a world away I doubt that I even occur to you.The true irony my muse? You will never know.]
pathetic non?…oui.
Big themes?
regret [Working on having none.]
revenge [keeping the knife sharp and the list updated]
drugs [ Vale! my sodden lost love.]
lust [for a ciggerette more often than not]
saving graces [the things that go bump in the night]
So….It looks like I am gonna be on this side of the planet for a time….Michele Hemmingway? Ya never know.I am going shooting next week cause I am avoiding going back to NA.Low is not just a David Bowie album kids….but I trust in your knowledge of all that is dark.I respect yours and in turn you listen to me scream endlessly about mine.Anyway.I cant go back to meetings.Nothing worse than sitting round with a bunch of other fucking burnouts to make ya wanna top yorself,not without a ciggerette anyway!See! Ciggerettes saved my life.
I gotta sleep!
Ahhhh.
Princess and Co.
For what you did….
Y’all know who you are and the degree to which you got my back? I am forever in your debt.Thank you from the bottom of my black heart..
Miss Karen
Princess Jack
Miss Shelia
Perko
Miss Elz
Skot 01#
Miss Haunted
Chris
Miss Amilie
Miss Cass.
You restore faith ……I couldnt ask for more.
SF4L
Michele
