Sunday Oct 3rd…RV hellcat livin’dirty large.

The boys are about to peal out to that bar that I was telling you about.Ho-hum.Back in Calgary….Cold as all shit wearing Jays Venom shirt and a big smile.Delux chatting about pimping us out in Japan after we finish the Album.Me thinking about what the hell I am gonna do.Thinking about foisting myself onto the new brothers that I have found in BC,Could end up in LA again,Construction work? [“Madden! Break was over 10 minutes ago!”] Delux has got Me set up on his wizbag supercool lap top.Oh Man,back after the most Baccainalin 2 weeks on record.Picture Caligulia with The Stooges doing the soundtrack.I think that I have got all my mates hangovers by proxy…

Walking out of the Astoria this morning round 5am was one of the hardest things ever.

We got to play the most killer show at the Waldorf thanx to the Goddess putting it on.She also let us eat her out of house and home in the time honored tradition of starving musos/promoters.Widowmaker opened.No,Not the one with Dee Snider….A bunch of relly cool dudes who mover to BC from some hell hole to make their music dreams come true.Really fuckin solid old skool action so as you can imagine Val and I were making The claw and cackiling like feinds.Jay,the towering lead singer [And all you sikfuks who know me know how big a motherfucker has gotta be for me to rate them as towering!]was wearing my Fave Venom longsleave…

I ran the theory by my band that if I threaten to kick the shit out of someone at the start of the nite that one in six will just end up giving me their teeshirt rather than getting their ass kicked over it…..I had no idea that it would WORK!.Thanx for the tee-shirt jay!He came up and gave it to me after I came off stage and danced with a beavy of BC beauties to Wayne Newton….Sweet.

Pig noises please! I am still wearing it 24 hours later.Rock and roll.Oink!

This thing is nuts to type on.

Ok.So Me and Gene saw the sun come up every fuckin day! Out of the ball park! Poor Ron Barbour had his hands full when he put us on the Radio together…it was totally great!I wonder what all the full blown metalheads thought about the spate of Skynard songs let loose on the air…We have no concept of how to behave when we are together.Man!The ammount of new bands that I have been exposed to in 2 weeks and the people who make the noise happen are amazing.
Y’all know that I have the best taste in the world [HEH!]So try and check out…
Punchdrunk
Just cause
Tard
The Goalers
Corb Lund band

Thats just for starters my darlins!

I manage to get myself into some pretty awsome situations thats for sure…..
“Michele,we are playin’ hookey tonite,get your shit together girl…We are going to Minestry…”
“WAHHHHHHHH!!!!, we gotta get Delux!”

So back to the trailer park and onto full blown carnage.So cool.But wait…there is more.

I got to meet Jello Biafria.
Lets just take a moment to sit with that shall we?
Round 1987 my pre-teen life was a total steaming pile of agnst ridden crap.I was stuck in a small town where all the girls wore pastels and listened to top 40.If you read for fun you were the anti christ.So between hiding out in the library stoned to the gills [ I would like to thank Stones green ginger and the dude at the Belconnen mall bottle shop who never carded me.Cheers.] and wishing that the Lost boys lived in my ‘hood,I hung out on the fringes at a record store called Impact that was above a really cool cinema called Electric shadows that messed up my life when I saw “Sid and Nancy” there and couldnt decide If I wanted to be Sid or Nancy more……Oh man “Dogs in Space” and “Ghosts of the civil dead” same effect on my peanut brain.

They usta have listening posts.Cool for broke asses like me.I always saw the small gaggle of punks and freaks round the chess pit and it was all I wanted.I guess that makes me totally uncool to admit that I was not born with an Exploited record in one hand but I was just a pathetic surburban peice of redneck trash whose cousins listened to nothing But Jimmy barnes.And had sex with each other for all I know…I digress.

I knew where I was going and that involved records that would make paint peal.Miss Alexx who now runs Feind magizine was a huge help in my treck to cool music.The dead milkmen,Sisters of Mercy,The dead kennedys,The birthday party…all the good shit and I am greatful to this day.She was a few years up from me in the misery that was catholic school and The wings that she spread over my mind still shade me.

So there I was ,Face to face with an icon who made me question everything.And all I could think of was the 1st time I ever heard “Too drunk to fuck” It was hard not to swoon.Miss Ani Kyd intoduced me and gave him our album.He told me to say hey to Blackie and Ray and that it was nice to meet me.Gene was smiling at my fan boy self.

Al rolled by looking like the pirate that I belive him to be.Me being handed beers that I fobbed off onto the rest of the crew.

And all I could think is “How the fuck did a dipshit like me get here?”
I have a livid purple bruise on my thigh from pinching myself.

Playing last nite and I look out [squint…] into the room and there is Byron and Gene,Miss Ani and Val from Zimmers hole,Cam from Punchdrunk,Patrick from Just cause.All the beauties of BC.Magdilina,Tammi..Slow dancing with Miss Steph to Fleetwood Mac [“Fortune favors the brave..” I grinned like a wolf, the smell of her skin like heaven in my scared arms for a song…..]..On to the Asbolt to say goodbye to Miss Wendy…..

“What do you call a useless cunt who hangs out with the band?…ME!!!!” -Just before blowing up the PA.
Flew the flag at the last show.Thongs are the way to go.If you dont like people in the front row you can slap em without getting your hands dirty.Heh.

Hearing the new Strapping and singing the parts that I was lucky enough to get to work on under my breath hiding under my dreads with a goofy smile on my face.I shed more than one tear over the last 2 weeks belive me.

Stu? You rule Man! I cant stop listening to Corb Lund Band.

Its about the ammount of swag that I garnered on this run! Fuck me! I met Kelly from Blasfamy.When I ran into him and his lovely lady Miss Erin at the Commodore they gave me the DOOM hoodie.As did Miss Wendy 13 of the astoria [ “The asbolt”] That is my Fave Bar In all of Vancouver thats for sure.No matter where I go in the world that is “The Bar” That I always end up in.Christ,Its the bar that I grew up in.Anywhere my cons stick to the carpet? You’ll find me there with the cream of the crop lying on the pool table writing my broken ass out.Rolling stones and my beloved J.Cash [R.I.P] on the juke,The smell of Jager in the air,Crack heads on the back wall talking to the transvestites and the welfare lifers.

Lets just say that if Vancouver was a woman?
Color me pussy whipped.

Now back to the gym and recording in small town hell.Sigh.It will keep me pissed off enough to deilver a killer sound to y’all.The boys are sounding amazing thats for sure.Back to smoking joints on the front lawn in the freezing cold.[That would be Ash.] Taking care of all our rotten asses.[ That would be Delux] drumming his ring out and eating everything thats not tied down [come on down Mike.]

And old useless here.

Delux being the total kitten that he is has lent me the dollars to re-new my gym membership.He is so paitent with my dumb ass that it boggles my mind.Its such a difficult situation.I would dig having a job…yeah,dont adjust your set,you read that right,but I am needed [cue laugh track] at the strangest times so i end up withg empty hours on stand-by maybes.That is some killer action right there.But all along I cant imagine anything finer than that time on stage.

Cant train for the next few days anyway as I did that excellent trick of passing out on a bench the size of a matchbox for 10 hours in sweaty rags.My whole left side is dead.I have managed to stay passed out through some pretty amazing terrain thats for sure.Thanks to dodgy Dr Feelgood types Delux didnt spend the trip home hanging from the roof doing that imaginary “Foot pumping break” move that drivers with control issues pull when some one else is behind the wheel.

Ash just rolled in.So funny watching everyone hiding food all over the bus.I am all about the shakes so when I wake up to no milk I am not real happy.Mike thinks that breakfast 3 times a day is valid between the other 3 or so meals that he nails so now Ash is hiding his frootloops or whatever some where in the bowels of the bedroom.Ross eats things that most humans dont so he is pretty much safe to a degree ‘cept when my PMS tells me that sardines may be a good idea at 3am…never quite pans out.

The worst part is that, as Ash calls it, they are all “Acoustically challenged” What this means in laymans terms is that they sound like a zoo at feeding time.I have to leave the room or listen to my walkman at top volume.They all get super bithcy when i pull them up on it too.

Ash is so fulla shit.He keeps telling me and Delux that he is gonna start a diary called “The Truth” as he is sick of his grandmother reading about him being a drug taking fag on our pages.Nanna! This does not stop us admiring and working with your super talented pointy headed degenerate grandson! Far from it!It just gives us more facets of his personality to admire.We are always on the lookout for a suitable young boy,dealer or rehab center at any given time so rest assured that we have his best interests at heart.I would not score him drugs if I didnt now would I?

Devin? we will always burn and that is what makes us what we are.
I dont want to be anything else.

I am blownout and broken but there is nothing finer.I am gonna go and check out the real world.Belive me when I tell you that that jolly adventure will be rather short lived.My banking details will be up in the Next Whitetrash. Yeah….that broke.

SF4L
Michele.