The story upon which I embark is one full of incident,

marked by bitter fighting, rent by treason,and even in peace sinister…..
-Tacitus,the Histories.

-I know where I am going and I know the truth and I dont have to be what you want me to be.I am free to be what I want.
-Muhammad Ali.

-And now I understand,you leave with everything….
-C.Love [ For Miss V.]

You know who you are and I want you to know that you are not your parents.I want you to know that I do not think ill of you because of them and the missguided bullshit that they have filtered through down to Me.Stay strong.You are a good person and they are not.You tell me that the Music helps .Let it ,every chance you get.I have my own sounds that I run too as well.

You are a sikfuk.Its cool.

Some random shit from the road…

I come home from the gym and there the 3 of them are.Skynard lyrics jump to my tounge and as I cross the road to be met with their blank stares, I mutter “I think im in some kind of conspirisy”

When I am the closest is when I am the most alone.

I have issues with myself when I dont confront.When I dont fight.Big ones.Better out than in right?

Remember…all that shit that you run from? It is Ecstatic! Stoked! You are giving it what it wants.

Run on little dawg…..

Ash can call me a Neanderthal all he wants.I am not the one spooning my bassplayer.

Rollins is running through my bruised cortex “You get one shot Mish” He sternly says to Me “Dont miss”. I want to reassure both him and my spastic self that I wont.

I am doing what it takes.Is that not perfectly fucking clear?All else falls.I see them dodge and weave.All and sundry getting pissed off at me being true to myself.My mantra a constant low roar of ‘Fuck you ,eat me”. I got an idea.Why dont ya’ll inform me when I am ment to give a shit about not being a lo-fi,corprate cock sucking,flesh bound,mobile lie machine and I will bake a fucking cake.

Ross has given Me a list of people that he does not wanna hear about.Due to the fact that the list contained the 5 or so people that I know of, conversations are now limited to the weather.

Too often you find in life that there is no-one.

I talk to myself and am sure to feel every inch of the lack.I know the freedoms that it gives me.I dont claim to know more than anyone else but in a world full of people waiting to talk it is an affordable grace to learn how to listen.

Delux and I ended up in a bar yesterday afternoon.[“Buffalo wings! 5 cents!” ” Dude!,when was the last time you saw a flying buffalo besides that time on acid?” “They dont fly cause their wings are being served in bars!” …..] It was cool.2 beers and a shot of Jager later[Ross not me!] and a good juke box turns a motherfucker like me into a total cowboy. You gotta see this place.Phone off the hook by the door.[“I miss you darlin'” …..] Vegas gone ripe decor circa 1985.Yeah,yeah…I was in hog heaven.7 songs for 2 bucks and they had Skynard and G’n’R so it was all Amos and Andy.

Delux gives good cheap beer buzz devotion and one damn fine Hendrix impersonation.

And I just roll on ’cause I am the Gold dust Woman tonite Stevie.

Tonite is the hockey final. I will be on the stairmaster.Ho-hum.Have told one of my mates back home that he is in for a smackdown when and if I get back.We are both trying to out train each other.Heh.Spoke to My bro Gooch out in Tucson last nite.So cool. I wanna head back to the desert the more I think about the winter.Me and a Kyuss album.Me spinning a circle of glee under a full moon.

Cacti……?
sigh.

Did a T-Shirt run last nite.seeing “SF4L” printed 100 times over makes me smile and my pupils flinch. My skin getting thinner and my soul getting meaner.

Gonna go break somthing….usually myself.

SF4L

Michele.