Here is one for all the Sikfuks who wrote me hurting

(Who wrote Me at all…I hope this helps a little and yes I do know what you are tallking about and No I dont think that its stupid..Ok? Try this one on for size.I know you will get it…..SF4L.)

It drives them crazy ’cause I wont be cool.
Its too late baby….
-Ozzy Osbourne.

May I never be complete.
May I never be content.
May I never be perfect.
-Chuck Palahniuk.

I just seem to be a writing fool at the moment now dont I? Its worth it. Hell cheaper than some Freudian fuck-knuckle telling My reclining-on-a-chase-lounge-kinda-caper “….Zat yoo ‘ave issues with your gender Mee-shele and…” Wah,wah,wah…That was a stab in the dark but I am usually on the ball. It is also cool that Ya’ll check in and write to me about me writing to and about you! Gulp! That line reminds Me of one of my all time favorate song titles.
“I forgot to remember to forget.”
Cool huh?

[Trying to say thanx for all the letters that I wake up to each day!]
I was writing my fat butt off earlier and the pen almost melted! I shit you not! Got Me a hand cramp the size of a small car.I am rolling hard and taking the piss at every available junction. Heh!
Traitors.
They dont know that I know.Which keeps them close to Me.I know where they sleep.Defeatist dogs.I pick My battles.I am flowing and creating new reserves.I will need it all where I am heading. This point HAD to be Chaos incarnate.This ugly.I welcome the pain that is butting and bruising my human frailties right out of this fucked up carcass that I house Myself in.
By the second.

I love it when I am low. Close to the ground.I wrote someone the other day that I am “silently loud”….I am only mentioning this to you guys to set the mood. You see,When I am “here”…I watch “them” panic. It is the offical “Couldnt give less of a fuck” zone with Me right now and its allllllll good. Drinks are 2 for one all night and the living is easy. Sorry about the rotting corpses that seem to endlessly litter this little vistas foxy views…but ya’ll know me?!…and its so HARD to get good help these days…Where was I? … Just hold your breath…nah! Where are my manners…Look here…take My ‘kerchif and hold it over your little old nose while the margiritas get mixed and you and I will have a high rollin’ good time.Dont make any fast moves and keep your eye on the little rubber ball…..

Stupid holds no water.
Cute does not last.
Aerosmith coulda written “Jaded” about Me.[ HA!] I have seen every trick and more likly than not did it before the best part of you was running down your daddys leg…Hey!Awwwww!..Dont go! I am just warming up!.. Dont be like that! C’mon man! Siddown….You asked for someone who would tell you where its at and here I am! You cant leave on a bum note! We are just getting started….

Was’ dat?….Oh the old …”I think that I know it all just cause I am in a band and throw my weight around and who the hell do I think I am to be talking to you ,YOU! Of all people this way and another thing…..” Honk,honk FUCKIN” HONK! Save it for Xmas dollface…sheesh!…WC Fields was right! I should quit giving suckers an even break but….

Has anyone ever told you how cute you look when you get angry?

Anyway. You came to me.Or for me? Never forget that.

I dont run it the way that you do. I am the tiny invader.The tick,The stubbed toe,The common cold.Nah…even better. I am more than a pain in the ass….I am the “Ache”. The one that you can never pinpoint for your Doctor “Because its…Its all over!…Then its gone…ect,ect”

In the Field?. I return to the beginning.Grunt 101.I take the hills and valleys. I walk through The Elephant grass for what feels like a million clicks and get up and do it all the next day. I dont mind one little-bitty-fuckin’ bit. Every time I see a tracer wiz by my ear? Every time there is action on the perimter?….I know that you are panic bound, Stressed if you will……That I am getting closer to what you want to protect from the likes of me and I feed on that….it takes me higher than any narcotic or fuck ever could…. I.The loser.The bottom of “Your” Percived pecking order.[Hey! Yeah NOW your starting to remember…dont get up old buddy,old Pal! Here! Have another one..Its on me…Huh? Nah I will stick with the water thanks….]I am getting to you.And It is driving you crazy.

Totally A-1 class- fucking- Crazy.

See,What you have gotta dig is that “They” dont teach this in private school.This is the natural evolution for Me. I am the result of a million “No’s” and emotional beat downs from you pack mentality motherfuckers.

You were soooo cocky! I loved sitting up in my snipers nest. You nervy as a finger fuck on the 1st date.Out on the battlefield trying to get your shit tight enough to take on one.An army! How flattering! Just for one big mouthed bitch who was getting away with blue murder.

I saw your medals glint in the sun. Vanity. I could pick you off by decending rank if I so chose but I am having more fun watching you huff and puff and try to blow my house down.

I am endless. You could pull my tounge out but the beauty of it all is that there is gonna be another one after Me.Just like the one that came before Me. And that alone will fuck with your great-grand childrens inner peace and that? Well! That amuses me no end.

What was that? Sorry !Memories! Whats that you say? Oh Honey! You listen but you sure dont hear. I am not bitter nor did I or do I want to be like you.Nice stab in the dark cutie! I am fine here.How do ya like THEM apples???

You have got nothing but the numbers…got it?
I dont need a uniform.
Or a map.
To tell me the truth,To tell me what to do or make me feel important.

Not Like you.Not of your kind.

And I will keep winning.Even when you call the shot and tell Me that I lose? I will let you have the little firefights.Smoke and mirrors.I dig kicking your ass too much to beat the snot out of you on EVERY level as you so richly deserve…I digress…Where, I ask you, would the fun be in that if you took your ball and pouted back home to hide behind you big education and trust funds? Huh?

The Maori warrior used to go out onto the battle field as the sun set to feed and tend their enemies so they would be well enough to get their asses kicked all over again the next day.

[mmmm….MM! You have no idea how much that tickles me.I am smiling fit to split right now.]

Was it always this way? Well, to be honest,I cant really say…nice question for someone as soused as your fine self…Garcon? Another drink for My future cannon fodder here!… but what I do know is that we created each other and need each other to keep this going. But…BUT!…. I will leave you just to fuck with you and then pop back up when you have relaxed…..BOOO!..Here! Damn! Now that was a waste of a perfectly good drink ! Lemme get cha another…It will dry in a second…..Silly I know but it always brightens my day.

You needed somthing to fear…Volia! Moi!
And I needed somthing stupid to practice on…I think thats your cue…And there you are! And lucky for me you just keep on breading!.Lordy!My aim is good.New targets every-live-long-FUCKING-DAY!!! I can brethe under water and see in the dark. I live on my toes and for this? For all that I am ? All that you will never be? I dedicate this one to you.

You bury your head in the sand? Dont yell “Unfair!” when I plant my foot up your ass.
End of story.
It?
Life?
Life WILL fuck you over and up IF I dont get to you 1st.Make no mistake there.It will get me too. It just dosnt bother Me the way it does you..How? Why?
I am here with you right now ain’t I?

If it dosnt get you the 1st time round the damndest thing tends to happen.Just like magic, Your “Cherry” lets call it ,grows back! And every time you dont learn? Well! Every time you make the same stupid mistake you will tear and bleed like the 1st. Agony.
Over and over.

So cross your legs or keep in in your pants.And dont come crying to Me seeing that I was the only one to ever take mercy on your sorry ass to tell you a truth that you were ill equiped to hear or deal with in the 1st place.I dont find it a waste of time…to the contrary…keeps Me in shape. You were lucky and you didnt even know it silly rabbit! That I said it and that you met Me. What were the chances huh? Of all the bars? In all the cities…….

I will be around. I like it here. I can finally see what it was that they were so afraid that I would become… And it fits like a glove. Sure! Lets do lunch sometime…You dont look too….Whoops! Thats cool man! Get it all out…aim over the…Woah! Hollow legs babe!…Here,I gotcha, wipe your mouth…
TAXI!

SF4L
Michele.