Theres a feeling I get when I look to the West….
-Led Zepplin.
-Get some,get some,get some, GO AGAIN!
The Rollins Band.
I was asked an interesting question yesterday about being up there and doing what I Do. The big olde showdown that takes place once you get on stage. I was asked how you handle singing the bone deep stuff,comming close to tears….I say to quote not only the B* but QOTSA…”Go with the flow.” I answered that “If you would feel that somthing was missing from your life? Well then…Dont stop.”
I have done it all up there.Well…. bar shitting myself….But in that vein I know Rossco has got some interesting fables….It is not ment to be beautiful. I want My Rock warts and all [LEMMY!] I do not now nor have I ever belived in wasting time going through the motions up there. Once you are in the ring you engage. As all readers of my esteemed late nite drivel know I am an “All or nada” kinda Girl. Why? Well fukit man!
Why the hell not?
We live in a souless place. We hold down crap jobs for a roof and some food. If some one is gonna drop a tenner to see us play?, To honnor us with their pit-presance, to turn a phrase, I and anyone who puts themselves on stage, would be insulting them and the music that sustains and drives not only myself but all fans, by not going all the way.
My heart beats with the beat of true fandom. I was offered a Ticket to see KISS by one of the most brillant Sikfuks, Dr Bolt. I have been lucky enough to see KISS before but there was somthing that did not ring true to me this round…..I want all or nothing…No Peter Criss doing “Beth”? no Michele….sigh.
I was touched at the offer though! I am one lucky broard but as we are all working our asses to the bone to get out of here I optioned to write insted of party this time.[ “Saint-fuckin’-Michele!”] I am unblocked so to speak. Recorded 3 newies with Ash last week and they were large. It really did a number on Me. It is like a scab that I have to pick .The more common sense or socity at large for that matter, tells Me to leave a subject alone the deeper I know I have to go into it. Tabboos breed on Fear and habit. Those ballroom days are over for me honey! My dance card is full of all the things that go bump in the night and we are cheek to cheek.
I run toward disaster.Naw…I do that slo-mo strut at the beginning of all good gangster flix….Sam Elliot. Two words that sum up Sooooomuch.
We all bulshit our way through life.I was told at a young age “Kid there are 2 types of people in this world. Masturbators and liars…” [My old man got it right once or twice.] Back to the subject at hand. I am all in favor of damage. Do yourself. Rebuild and do it again. Test yourself. It is all too numb and easy.Ya’ll dont stike me as “The numb an’ easy” Kind. Naw…didnt think so.
Which takes me back to the sound. The noise that has shapped Me.Handed and honed down from great tradition and talent was never picture perfect or even sober 90% of the time for that matter. It sweated on me,Made me cry,Kept me up for days with a single song on repeat and saved my life more than once. It glued me back together in a graveyard in New York freezing my ass off,questioning everything.with my discman and “The best Of Black Sabbath” and a thin coat when I knew that I was going to loose my husband and with him,My last ideas of love and the final vestiges of a normality and sanity that had denied me from birth.It took me back in with no questions When my Band were waiting for my AWOL stress fuled jett lagged ass 3 months later at the studio.No questions asked. I fell in love with the idea that you could close your eyes but sound is a given. I have never taken it for granted. I used to sing to myself along with the speed of the wipers whipping away the rain ,the cab thick with canned heat and ciggerette smoke, in My dads old pickup truck when I was a kid happy as a clam. Lets just say that sound never let me down.
I saw Jeff Buckley play his heart out on a roof top.[R.I.P] I watched Helmet open the doors to Bliss.Alice cooper hit me on the scone with his whip as I sang my ravaged lungs out with him and a couple of thousand other fans front row at the Ent cent,it was like a rock Knighting!!! [ Arise! I dub thee Lady Michele of sonic!] Primus nearly put me in traction, I broke my toe and caught headlice at Anthrax and Slayer have now re-arranged My mottled DNA 5 beautiful times. I have seen it inside and out. It is the one truth that I have been given.
Dont think that I am not aware….File it under Hyper.
Truth. In a world of airbrushed pussy and anorxia. It is a truth. And if she? The Siren calls you? In all of her guises and discuises? In her COF teeshirt and smudgy doe eyes,In her Bling and timberlands,In her hippy dreads and her guitar,Kinderwhore,leatherpants,feather boa,glamslam-thrash-hip-hop-jungle-pop….? Take her hand and take the chance. There may be one night,one song,one show ONE SPLIT FUCKING SECOND that will change the way you look at everything forever…. so jump on in the water is fine!
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE.
That in itsself should be all you need to hear I could sit here and quote the greats all night. If you are gonna ride this train? Go all the way and all you have to worry about…… Let Me try that again…..Dont. Just be the best version of yourself that you can be.
In the name of The Rhumba, The cha-cha and the Mambo. Amen.
Phew!
So! Playing away and working hard. I think that its about T-15 weeks untill we throw ourselves at the rest of the world to show ’em how its done. Alot of people are behind us and the show of good faith that has been hammering my inbox [oh-er!missus!] From all of you Sikfuks around the world and has been staggering. I am here for you so drop me a line. Ya’ll have been there for Me and I like what we have got.
As all the sikfuks are aware ya’ll are gonna be choosing the tracklisting for the new album.I cant wait to hear which ones make the grade with you guys. The title that I keep comming up with is the thing that the B* flung my Way the other night….”Hatebox” She really hit a raw nerve with Me on that and I can see the cover in My head.[“….Blood and lillies….”] I am glad that you dig “Small Enemy” It is fast becoming a real live dinger. I love playing it. Such a grind.
You will be glad to know that Ash has returned to a real Bay area thrash sound with the Tourettes twist! [ Slayer, Vio-lence,Early Metallica….and so on…cooooooool!] that is making push myself to dizzy limits. I have hit A good anger rather than a pointelss madness and that alone is putting me where I need to be.
’bout fuckin’ time too!
Looking forward to seeing ya’ll at the shows.
Stay stong and true.
It will serve you well.
SF4L
Michele.