Lover

I would just lie on our bed and look at him.

I could not get enough.

Nestled into a nest of pillows that yet another one of his crazy ex-girlfriends had made from a heap of his tee-shirts,I would lie there constantly naked,toga’ed in a soft black sheet,half reading a book but mostly just staring at him.We always had music playing and we tended to never leave the house.Eat every few days? Whatever. I didn’t care if I never left the bed. The days,manhandled by time ,lost all meaning.

We had nowhere to be and no one to consider but each other.It was so sublimely selfish.It was the most perfect time of my life.

The same animal.My completion.My full stop.The  love of my life.

Secret language that gleefully excluded the rest of the world.I thought that I would die in his arms in about half a centuries time.One of those old couples that when one expires the other follows within hours unable to survive with out their mate.I believed this.

That if I could bear a child and it would be a son,it would be his.I believed this.

That we would protect each other and thrive.I believed this.

Not only handsome but beautiful.Do you know what I mean? Bones that spoke of kings and soldiers.Fallen royalty.I was intoxicated.I got drunk on the sight and shape of him.I got high on his touch.Ribbons of words that tethered me to him as surely as a leash or handcuffs.

We would fall asleep still making love so slow and languid.Wake and pick up where we left off without missing a beat.Every pore and follicle straining towards each other.Every fiber and fantasy.

And now I burn candles and wait for visions.Now I don’t know how to begin again,what to say.Fear is a cruel and strangely silent master.I compile letters and cards that I do not send.A conversation that has never paused for a second.Strange prayers to invented gods.

A heart shaped box.

It drove me mad and I have never found my way back…….

Her heart was softer and warmer than he had imagined.It came away from its moorings easier than he had thought.Naturally,like all things that had to do with love,this aroused suspicion in his tight mind.He ran his left hand softly down the length of her sleeping form and grinned at the smile that tickled the corner of her full over kissed lips.She sighed luxuriantly and slept on.The wound on her left side,from which the aforementioned heart had been plucked,lolled drunkenly open,strangely bloodless and somewhat obscene.The heart shifted and cooed,a living thing, in the center of his giant hand..

He walked across the room and sat deep back into his black leather chair contemplating what this turn of events could mean.She loved him.He knew it ,was sure of it as he had never been sure of anything in his long disreputable life. He ran his fingers over the white feathers that cupped protectively around the heart in his palm.The wings she claimed that he had given it while jumping around in front of him,making him laugh as only she could,bunny faces and fingers up like ears.Folded like the leaves of an artichoke,soft,protecting the the core of all she was,all she had entrusted him with .

She had given him the jewel.The one thing that she had never given away before.

He looked at the heart and then to the lean shape of her on the bed.

Everything breaks in time…..

tell me more,talk to me,i’m listening…..